Writing tips

The plot
thickens

Choosing
a literary
agent

Query letters

Inspire me!

But they
rejected me!

Quick tips

1. Try writing the entire chapter in dialogue only as if it was a script, and then flesh it out with description. It can help focus on the essentials.

2. Base your characters on other established characters from other books, or base them on well-known actors. It can help add personality - but don't overdo it.

Inevitably (or at least ideally) your characters will develop their own traits as the novel progresses. You can even use their real names for the first draft.

Where the hell do you think you're going, said Al (Pacino).

What's it to you? said Harvey (Keitel).

Later, Al can become Sid, and Harvey can become whoever. But borrowing faces and personality types can give you a start with character development.

It doesn't work for everyone. But then, nothing works for everyone.

3.Try sketching the whole story in 3 sentences.

A soldier goes to war.

The soldier's best friend is captured by the enemy. The soldier and best friend return home.

Then you can fill in the blanks. How was the friend captured? And why? And how was he rescued? This can help with plotting. You know the beginning, the middle and the end. Develop from there. Build forward, and build backward, and flesh out the middle.

4. Stand at a window or lie in the bath and record your story into a Dictaphone. This doesn't work for everyone either, especially if you hate the sound of your own voice, but it might unleash a little unexpected creativity. Try it.

5. Be definite. Avoid saying, It was a large house. Say instead, The house was large. Avoid saying, It was a hot afternoon. Better to say, The afternoon was hot. I make this mistake constantly. You have to watch your own bad habits

"It" is often too vague. "It" lacks depth. Conversely, sometimes "it" is exactly what you want depending on the context. Either way, do a global search with your word processor. It might surprise you.

6. Give your reader the pay-off he or she wants. If you're writing crime, leave all the clues (not necessarily obviously). If you're writing a thriller, draw some blood early on (and get the body count up). If you're writing romance, put some sex in there somewhere. In fact, sex can go everywhere.

Yes, it means writing to a formula. So be subtle. Be different. Be imaginative.

But Darling, I've never made love on a flagpole.

Me neither. Just don't look down.

7. Don't explain everything about your characters in chapter one. Pepper the novel with details that slowly reveal their personalities. Think about the people you know in your private life and ask how much you knew about them when you first met. Did they present you with a CV or a biography and tell you not to proceed beyond this point without reading every word? Or did your knowledge of them develop gradually.

8. Give every character a clear goal. John wants money. Julia wants fame. Fred wants out of his relationship. Helen wants to get into it. If a character is simply toting a machine gun and being gratuitously nasty, he's underdeveloped. That might be all that character deserves, given the scope of your book. But if you can humanise him or her in some way, so much the better.

The two soldiers, both wearing SS insignias, levelled their machine guns. For the Fatherland there was nothing they would not do.

It's not much, perhaps. But it suggests that these two soldiers have their own clear goals.

9. Make your villains likeable in some respect. Yes, he murdered 60 people before breakfast, but he's kind to pensioners. No one is all bad. And no one is all good. By the same token, your hero just saved 60 people before breakfast, but he's unkind to his grandmother and is short tempered. Wherever possible, show the extremes of your character's personality. No one loves Mr Perfect. And no one loves Mr All Bad either.

10. Write every day and keep moving on your story. Even if you put in a single word, write something. The trick is to keep the book on the boil, even if it's on a low flame.

11. Avoid the obvious. Think of your story as a roller-coaster ride that moves rapidly up and down, left and right. And while you're at it, take the train right off the track occasionally.

You wouldn't hit a woman would you?

No, he said, reaching for the chainsaw.

12. Use silence and timed pauses in dialogue.

Well are you going to marry me? he said.

She met his gaze and slowly looked away. There was blossom on the trees. She could hear children playing.

Well are you?

No, she said.

Cliché list; some things you ought never to be heard saying.

24/7.

Ballpark figure.

Absolutely.

It's not rocket science.

Literally.

To be honest.

Thinking outside the box.

Moving the goalposts.

In actual fact.

The mind boggles.

Blue sky thinking.

Basically.

Between a rock and a hard place.

Back in the day.

Paradigm shift.

Cutting edge.

Make no mistake.

Bring it on.

Palpable excitement.

No doubt in my mind.

Don't go there.

There are thousands more. Just watch for them, and try and find a creative alternative, or keep it simple.

For advice on how to submit your book / novel to a literary agent or publisher read the quick Submission tips on "Choosing a literary agent" page.

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Writing tips

There are billions of words out there advising writers on how to get the best from their talents. It's hard to add anything else that's useful and isn't patronising. But working on the assumption that you're new and keen to suck a few eggs, here's my input. I'm dealing primarily with fiction, but there’s also a brief note on feature writing and copywriting.

1. Write directly

That sounds simple enough, but like a lot of simple things, it can be very hard to do. People tend to unnecessarily embellish their talk, and the embellishment dilutes the impact.

You see this commonly on TV man-in-the-street interviews where someone has witnessed, say, a fire and ends up repeating themselves. There was smoke and flames and ... well, it was awful. Some people ran out screaming and ... and it was terrible. Awful. The smoke. The fire. Awful.

This happens largely because the interviewer has shoved a microphone in the witness's face and is demanding another sound bite, which are hard to deliver on demand.

Instead, use a simple statement, unrepeated. It's stronger.

So what happened?

The building caught fire. Some people came running out. It was hell.

End of story.

Now try this; The man in the black suit with the briefcase walked along the street until he found a gap in the traffic and looked right and left before crossing between the oncoming cars.

There's too much happening in this sentence. Chop it up into manageable chunks. Think of it as a meal. Just how much are you going to fork in at once?

The man crossed the street.

Full stop.

If it's important to mention the man's black suit and briefcase, give those facts a sentence of their own.

The man crossed the street. He was wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase.

This doesn't mean you can't build longer, more complex and more colourful sentences. It just means that you should always give your reader a chance to chew.

Which takes us to the next point ...

2. Navigation and location

Makes sure the reader knows where he is at every step of the way. You can be subtle or you can be direct. Or a little of both.

The man crossed the street. He was wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase. Beneath his arm was a copy of the New York Times. It was 5.15 pm.

He might not be in New York, but you've just given the reader a clue to suggest that he is. So make sure it's not a false clue - unless, of course, a false clue is somehow crucial to the plot.

If you write, Beneath his arm was a copy of the New York Times. Paris had never looked prettier, it's may well jar. So give the reader as smooth a ride as possible.

If your man walks into a building, make it clear that he's walked into a building. Don't make a jump from the street to an office on the 19th floor unless the reader is familiar with the location and habits of the man.

The man crossed the street. He was wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase. Beneath his arm was a copy of the New York Times. It was 5.15 pm.

On the corner of the street was an office building. The building was twenty stories high. The doors were chrome and glass and glinted in the morning sunlight. The man went inside. Directly ahead was a bank of elevators.

Etc.

You don't need to describe every element of every step. But don't leave readers stranded between scenes. Make sure they know both where your characters are, and when they are. Sound easy enough? Good, Make it a rule.

3. Think radio not TV

Listen to radio plays. They're generally superior to TV productions, largely because they demand greater listener interaction. When a play has a shop or a high street scene, the listener self-builds much of the shop or street furniture. This quality helps "personalise" the story, and a personalised story has greater resonance. But don't over-describe. You don't need to highlight every lamp post or flagstone. You don't need to describe every item on the shelves. It's enough to give the reader a guideline, or an outline, and let him or her fill in the details to suit their predispositions.

Yes, you can splash a hint of colour here or there; ideally something that gives the flavour of the street. Such as, The street was littered. Or, The street was neon lit. Or, The street was on the wrong side of town. But that's enough. Readers want to be involved, but not talked down to. Do I make this mistake in my own novels? All the time. Everyone needs to have their leads jerked regularly.

4. When is dialogue direlogue?

Day to day talk is generally pretty dull. Mine included. But nobody wants dull dialogue in a novel - unless the dullness is a deliberate effect. If your characters speak, make them speak well. Make them insightful. Or challenging. Or questioning.

Do you love me?

Haven't I told you often enough?

Why should I believe you?

Then why should I keep telling you?

Four questions in a row. Not perfect dialogue, but it makes the point. The dialogue needs to compel the reader to "assume" histories for your characters, or, at least, private agendas.

What the hell do you want?

I want my money.

Actually, it's my money.

Not for much longer, pal ...

Here there's conflict. You don't need to show expressions or gestures. The dialogue should do that.

What the hell do you want? he sneered.

I want my money, he yelled.

Actually, it's my money, he retorted.

Not for much longer, pal, he replied.

This is overworked. "He sneered" and "he yelled" reduce the impact. Instead of focussing on what was said, the reader is focussed on how it was said. Big mistake.

Yes, there's still ample scope for "he said" and "she replied". But limit the supply. Use these terms only when it's unclear who's speaking, or when you feel the "balance" of the sentence requires them.

In any case, avoid things like; "he retorted"; "she returned"; he rejoined"; "he sneered". Just keep it simple and let the dialogue alone tell the reader how it was said.

Who do you think you are? she yelled, should become something like, Who the hell do you think you are?

And remember this too. Dialogue doesn't have to bounce seamlessly between two characters. They can be talking disjointedly to each other. It can be very revealing.

I think we should go to Mexico again next year.

I wish I hadn't bought that stupid hat.

Or we could go to Rio.

It made me look ridiculous.

They say Rio is where you fall in love all over again.

No one could love me in that hat.

I love you.

Rio it is then.

And lastly, keep your characters in character. If you can't tell who's who from what's being said, your dialogue could be in need of a rework.

Hey man, how's it hanging?

I beg your pardon?

I'm asking how you're doing, dude.

How am I doing what?

And so on.

In conclusion, fiction dialogue needs to hit the right note every time. But if it doesn't ring, or at least chime, rewrite it and keep rewriting it until the dialogue oozes characters. You won't get it perfect every time. No one does. But it's an ideal that you should aim for with every keystroke.

5. Something doesn't smell right

Or doesn't smell at all. Use all five senses. If your characters are in a restaurant, what's cooking? If they're in the street, what's the air quality like? Smells are important. They're evocative. Think fresh bread. Fried garlic. Fish and chips.

Hungry yet?

Then add some sound. The lazy drone of bees. The chatter of the train carriages. The dull pop of his knee joints.

And how about feel? The fabric of her dress. The moistness of his hands. The slimy timbers.

You can do worse than make up a list of tick boxes and put a cross against all 5 senses as you work through a chapter. Can you see it? Hear it? Feel it? Smell it? Taste it?

Novels should be smelly, fragrant, noisy, silent, silky, slimy, bitter, sweet - and always highly visual.

6. Don't just write what you know. Know what you write.

It's a myth that you have to have direct experience of every situation or locale that your characters face or find themselves in. At times you have to simply tell the reader where you want your characters to be and beg their indulgence. Most will follow obediently wherever you lead them if you "seed" the images.

Late that same afternoon the Prime Minister returned to Downing Street and stood quietly in The Study, his preferred working den. Unlike the Oval Office at the White House, there was no dedicated Downing Street office of state. Work was conducted either here, of there, or wherever you fancied - and often wherever you could find a free perch.

He looked tired. Drawn. There had been a gruelling debate in the commons; a debate that had exposed a new enemy. On the desk blotter was a letter from the Home Secretary. The letter was marked personal. The handwriting was shaky.

Okay, this is hardly high literature. But the chances are that you've already built your personalised image of the PMs office. Your walls might be lilac. Mine might be blue. Someone else may see green stripes. It doesn't matter. The PM is still in his office.

To add authenticity, you can pull out a single researched detail.

He gazed up at Gladstone's portrait and frowned. Or, He looked down and smiled at the scorch mark left in the veneer by Harold Wilson's pipe.

Actually, I invented both details. The point is that you should trust the reader to trust you, and honour that trust by seeding detail and not rubbing your reader's noses in the scene.

Remember, above all else, that the modern world exposes us to a huge range of vistas. We've all seen the inside of the Kremlin. We've all flown in a B52. We've all been to the bottom of the ocean. We all know more than we think we know.

Modern writers live on a grander stage. So take some liberties. Invent what you need. Fabricate. If you don't know the exact procedure for launching a nuclear missile, work out your own sequence. Or just have a General pick up a phone and yell, Mister, get that damn bird airborne!

We can figure the rest out for ourselves.

Usually, anyway.

7. Final words

A long time ago I got some good advice about feature writing - and writing in general. Tell them what you're going to say, say it, and then tell them what you said. I've travelled a long way with this in mind. It seems to work.

The best writing is invariably the simplest writing. Not clever writing. Not flowery writing. And it shouldn't make you run constantly for the dictionary (although it's not a bad thing to give the language a little boost occasionally and dust some of those wonderfully neglected words). Just give clear facts, or opinions, and keep it precise.

Unlike fiction, never state more than you know, or at least believe, to be true. If you don't know how many people were drowned in a boating accident, say as much. The modern trend is to speculate endlessly until the truth is so muddied that nothing is believable (as if it ever was).

Watch the clichés (see the list on the left). The English speaking world is suffocating in these. We're all guilty. Clichés are nothing other than laziness. They're verbal weeds. I try and give myself a mental kick every time I use one, and you should do the same.

Instead of saying, The worst case scenario, just say, at worst. Don't say, At the end of the day. Better to say, ultimately. The general rule is that as soon as a phrase becomes popular or memorable of (worst of all) "hip" or "cool", stop repeating it.

Also, don't overuse the thesaurus. There's a temptation to always search for a synonym. But often, the simple more direct word is better. Remember that you're communicating ideas, not showing off. Yes, be funny. Be witty. But wherever possible make it original wit and original funniness.

Most of all, perhaps, read as much as possible. Read both "good" and "bad" writers, and analyse as you read. Read some literature, and read some pulp fiction, and analyse that too. Read a western occasionally. Read a quality newspaper. Read a tabloid. Study billboards (most are rubbish, but there are some gems). Read some poetry, classical and modern. Just read.

And keep writing.

And if you get stuck and need help, email me. I'll see what I can do to assist.